How to Finger a Girl
The Proper Way You Should Be Pleasing Her
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What's the problem with those lists that always promise she’ll have the best orgasm ever? For starters, their success rate is nil. Since every vagina is shaped slightly differently, the moves that get women off vary from lady to lady. Meaning, every woman needs something a little bit different in order to reach the big O. Also, that "something" might not expressly involve your dick, since only 12.9 percent of women consistently reach orgasm through penetration alone.
RELATED:How to Make Her Orgasm
The good folks at OMGYes know all about this struggle. They created a platform to help spread the word about what women prefer in bed, with scientific data visualizations of how many women like what and why, video demonstrations by real women who love each technique, and virtual simulations that teach you how to execute each move.
How does OMGYes know all this stuff? They've done their homework. Recently, they conducted a study of 2,000 women with the goal of figuring out the fingering techniques and methods that feel best for different women, and why.
While there's no "one fingering trick finishes all" technique, there are some interesting insights from the study that can help steer you in the right direction. Here's what thousands of women had to say about the precious art of fingering.
1. It's More Than Sticking Your Finger In and Out
Remember, it's what's on the outside that counts. Specifically, we're talking about the clit. One point echoed throughout the study was that the kind of "fingering" that actually brings women to orgasm is rubbing of the outside area around the clit. In fact, that's how most women masturbate because it's what actually feels the best. For the vast majority of women, penetration is nice, but it's kind of like rubbing your balls - pleasant, but not going to make you come.
2. Different Women Like Different Things
The women who participated in this study went as far as to say that the guys who think they have "the move" are usually worst at giving pleasure. The mentality of "one move to finish them all" makes sense to men, since moves like stroking and sucking work for almost all guys, and if there’s lube, just about any rubbing is going to feel good to some degree. But for women, it's truly different strokes for different folks.
The clit is so sensitive that touch can sometimes feel really uncomfortable or even hurt certain women. So if some move felt really good for your ex-girlfriend, that doesn't mean it'll do the trick for your next girlfriend. A prime example is that some women orgasm almost exclusively through their clitoris, while others prefer a G-spot orgasm. In bed, try experimenting with using different fingers, since some girls might prefer you use a smaller, shorter finger, while others might prefer the middle finger for maximal G-spot stimulation.
3. Most Agree That 'This One Move' Doesn't Do It
Porn that shows women getting rubbed out typically portrays a hard and fast back and forth motion, commonly known as the "DJ" because of how it mimics the spinning of a track. According to the OMGYes study, that kind of superfast cadence and pressure directly on the clit only feels good for 1 in 48 women. For the rest, it either doesn't feel great or actually hurts. To put it into perspective, imagine someone taking your dick and rubbing the tip really hard with their palm as fast as they can. It's a sharp painful tickle, and naturally, you want it to stop. For the vast majority of women, it's not a good move, even if women in porn are pretending to like it.
4. Fingering Isn't Just For Foreplay
It's true that very few women get off by way of penetration alone. In the study conducted by OMGYes, 72 percent of women said they need their clit stimulated during intercourse in order to reach orgasm. That means you need to pay attention to your partner's most sensitive part during intercourse if you want her to orgasm. In fact, the resounding sentiment from the study was that the clit gets attention here and there, but most women would prefer to have it touched throughout the act.
RELATED: How To Master The Woman's G-Spot
5. Start by Touching Everything Except the Vagina
For most women, the more anticipation that's built up before touching the vagina, the more aroused they become, providing more pleasure once you do start to touch her down there. The women who participated in the survey said that kisses on the lips, neck, shoulders, and arms usually do the trick, as well as gently, slowly stroking their stomach, legs, and thighs.You can’t go wrong with slow foreplay.
6. Be a Tease
Approach the crotch area, but keep passing by it as if it’s invisible. One woman from the study likened this tactic to playing with a cat. If you reach right for it, it runs away. If you tease and don't stroke it, it comes to you.
Another woman described a method she calls the “fake out.” To do it, you move your fingertip down your partner's body from her neck to her breasts to her stomach, but instead of landing at her crotch, veer down her leg. Then, on the way back up, move your fingertip in another path that misses her crotch, too. These moves build anticipation and help awaken arousal. Many women love this kind of withholding and will eventually move their crotch toward your finger or tongue as it passes by — a good sign that the clit is ready to be touched. The more awake her body is, the more pleasurable it will be when you finally touch her clitoris.
7. Use the Hood
The clit has a naturally occurring hood of skin meant to help soften contact since the clit is super sensitive. Staying right on the clit is often pretty painful, with one woman from the study describing the sensation as "the feeling of sticking a Q-tip way too far into your ear."
To balance this, most women say that "layering" with the hood brings them the right amount of pleasure without the pain that direct contact with the clit can end up facilitating. To try layering, touch the hood, rubbing it so that the pressure you're putting on it makes contact with the clit.
8. Spread the Wetness
Before touching the clit directly, most women say they prefer you to spread the wetness from the inside of their vagina. Get it on your finger, and "paint it" onto the rest of the lips and clit.
Using this natural lube makes touching feel smoother, and allows your fingertips to glide and caress instead of pulling or catching on the sensitive skin. Keep in mind, you'll likely have to go back for seconds and thirds of wetness in order to get it well coated. It's also good to note that not all women make a lot of natural lube (even if they're really turned on), so don't be shy about adding some manufactured lube into the mix.
9. Touch the Clit Lightly
According to the women surveyed, the most commonly appreciated "first touch" of the clit is one that’s feather-light. One woman even compared the initial touch she likes to rubbing honey on a butterfly's wing. Keep your touch delicate and light so that your fingertip isn't even moving the skin, just gliding over it.Remember, the clitoris is extremely sensitive, so proceed gently!
10. Pay Attention to Her Reactions
Many of the study’s participants reported that the guys who are best at fingering are the ones who start off gently and then try different moves, while watching and asking for feedback. They also ask questions that don't put their partner in a tough spot. For example, questions like "Is that good?" or "Are you close?" are not the direction you want to go. Instead, ask questions like "Faster or slower?" or "Higher or lower?" The answers to these questions will actually give you useful information to make the pleasure better, and keep your ego intact.
11. Tell Her You’re Not an a Rush
One big factor that prevents women from reaching orgasm is that they have too many concerns running through their head. They're worried that they're taking too long, or that they'll offend their partner if they ask them to change their moves.
The quickest, easiest thing you can do to up your chances of getting your partner off is assure her that there's no rush. Say how much you're into it, and that it can take as long as it needs to. Also, let her know that there’s no pressure if nothing happens. Many women can't orgasm because they feel like they're going to let their partner down if they don't. If you take that end goal off the table, she's actually more likely to get there.
12. Use a Toy
One foolproof way to take things up a notch? Adding a toy into the mix. Here are a few products to help level up your next finger bang.
Jimmyjane Hello Touch
If you're already good with your hands, throwing these finger pads into the mix will potentially lead to some of the most mind-blowing fingering your partner has ever encountered. These finger pads combine the benefits of using a vibrating toy, including maximal clitoral stimulation, with all the best things about being fingered. The result? An orgasm that's earth-shattering.
$36.99 at AdamEve.com
Dr. Kat's Flutter Ring
You know that a sex toy is going to be solid when it has been designed by a board-certified sexologist. Created by Dr. Kat Van Kirk, the flutter ring is the latest and greatest when it comes to clit stimulation. The toy conveniently attaches to your finger in order to keep it in place while you're maneuvering. The magic is in the way that the four silicone layers are tiered into a v shape. When the toy vibrates, the layers delicately move with it, providing four times the pleasure — without overstimulating the way that larger clit stimulators can sometimes do.
$29.99 at AdamEve.com
Hello X Touch Estim Fingerpads
If you're already good with your hands, throwing these finger pads into the mix will potentially lead to some of the most mind blowing fingering your partner has ever encountered. These finger pads combine the benefits of using a vibrating toy, including maximal clitoral stimulation, with all the best things about being fingered. The result? An orgasm that's earth-shattering.
$10.00 at JimmyJane.com
Adam & Eve "Make Me Cum" Clit Sensitizer
You'd be surprised just how far using the right lube can go when you're looking for an easy way to give your partner more pleasure. This clit-sensitizer lube does wonders when used while fingering. Don’t get too crazy with it, as a little goes a long way. Spread a dime-sized amount on her clit to make her most sensitive part even more stimulated. Pair this formula with the fingering moves and fingering techniques you just learned, and you've got all the tools you need to give her the most incredible finger bang of her life.
$7.95 at AdamEve.com
The Screaming O Mini Bullet Vibrator
Don’t let this vibrator’s size fool you. It packs a punch and works wonders for easy clit stimulation if your partner needs some extra motion while you're fingering her. Slightly over 2 inches long, this mini pocket vibrator is single speed, battery powered and easy to operate. It's also waterproof, in case you're getting your nasty on in the shower. Not to mention, a waterproof toy makes for easy cleanup once you two are done using it.
$9.93 at Amazon.com
Überlube Luxury Lube
If you're looking for a lube that’ll provide more slip, Überlube is an ideal formula to try. It goes on soft and smooth, and it’s long lasting, meaning less is more. Plus, it’s packed with vitamin E, making it beneficial for whatever skin you’re putting it on. Lubes that get sticky after you've been going at it for a while are pretty much a recipe for lost orgasms, so make sure you're using one that's silicone-based, like this one. Bonus points: Überlube doubles as a massage lube, in case you two want to give each other a good rub down later on.
$29.95 at AdamEve.com
Bottom line: The best lovers aren't the ones who can move their fingers a certain way. They're the ones who will go the extra mile to make her feel comfortable enough to give feedback. If you can get your partner talking, telling you how she wants you to touch her and where (the vaginal opening, the outer labia?), that's golden. The most mind-blowing orgasms you dream about are the ones that happen as a result of excellent communication r... with a little trial and error throughout.
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How to Finger a Girl
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